It’s always an exciting moment to watch our kids hit developmental milestones.
Even for parents raising regular kids, every new learning is a proud moment. But many of us take for granted the simple things we need to perform everyday to live with the desired level of independence. These simple skills are called self-care or self-help skills like:
- brushing teeth
- sitting up
- eating
- taking a bath
- dressing up
- combing hair
- putting things in place
A common course of action would be to seek help from occupational therapists (OT). But it’s always best for parents to be actively involved in the development of your child. Outside professional OT help, parents can encourage progress and you might be surprised how your kid achieves milestones at a faster pace than you expect.
Most may not understand that for parents raising a child with special needs, there is an extra special shout for joy with every little victory. When Eira recently started to initiate feeding by herself using a spoon, the excitement was as real as our struggles for the last seven years trying to encourage her to feed independently -- all emotions condensed in one single moment, celebrating a small triumph.
Yes, there is real struggle in trying to achieve one small milestone; and so, with even the smallest progress brings a rush of euphoria. We can tell you that all roads leading to one glorious moment of progress had been an uphill climb. But we'd do it all over again because our child is worth it - every drop of sweat and tear, ever pain, every sleepless night, and every aching joint in our bodies.
Yes, there is real struggle in trying to achieve one small milestone; and so, with even the smallest progress brings a rush of euphoria. We can tell you that all roads leading to one glorious moment of progress had been an uphill climb. But we'd do it all over again because our child is worth it - every drop of sweat and tear, ever pain, every sleepless night, and every aching joint in our bodies.
How to Encourage your Child to Eat?
Our honest answer would be: there is no single method that fits all. Every child is unique and as parents, we should be able to take cues from them. But there are some strategies you can explore to make it fun and interesting for your child, suggested Sahana Charan, Parent Circle. We picked some fun activities you might want to try out:- Take the creative route for visual appeal. Explore food art and arrange food to create shapes and fun characters like creating a heart shape with peas or a house with carrots and breadsticks. Usually, what appeals to their eyes, may appeal to their taste, too. You can also involve your kid and teach them to create shapes with noodles or pasta. Fun learning games can get kids excited to explore the texture of a variety of food items with their hands and eventually, will feel ready to taste and put the food in their mouth.
- Go bright and colorful with finger foods. Most kids love food they can touch with their hands and finger foods are the best way to get them started exploring textures. As they get familiar with texture, it will soon come naturally to try out for the taste.
- Allow playtime. Most parents are petrified watching kids play with food. But remember that learning an important skill outweighs a little mess that can be cleaned up. Kids feel the need to trust the food they will put in their mouth. Imagine it was you, blindfolded and made to eat something you don’t recognize. It’s a scary feeling not to know what you put in your mouth and it’s the same for kids. Playing with food helps ease that fear because they get to touch and feel the texture of their food.
- Schedule a family meal time. More and more modern families are eating-on-the-go and spending less and less time sharing a meal together on a dining table. But family mealtime is an important activity that can help your child learn at best because they see first-hand how members of the family eat using hands or spoon that encourages them to mimic. Kids are great imitators and family mealtime is a great opportunity for kids to mimic actions and get them to eat by themselves.
Our method: what we did to encourage eating independently
Getting Eira to eat by herself was a slow and long process. Every mealtime was a struggle. We spent a lot of time and attention encouraging her to feed independently. The biggest help for encouragement was her little sister who makes every mealtime a fun and happy experience for both of them.
- Flying kiss: the useful hand on mouth exercise. A daily practice of flying kiss proved to be a useful exercise in preparing Eira with the movement of hand on mouth. We’d take every opportunity and ask her to execute a flying kiss until it became a habit.
- Pretend play. One of the fun activities we explored that encouraged Eira to eat by herself is using play. During our first visit with Eira's physiatrist, we discussed about various playsets that can help prepare Eira to start eating by herself. We shopped for multiple food playsets such as fruit and veggie sets, kitchen tool sets, tea party sets and other. Having siblings or friends to play with makes learning for kids easy and fun. Pretend play is one fun way to encourage kids to eat by themselves but you must be careful selecting your toys. Always check that the toys you pick are non-toxic, safe toys before you give them to your kids. Here are some toys we picked for you:
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Melissa & Doug Food Groups - 21 Hand-Painted Wooden Set | Buy This! |
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Casdon Morphy Richards Kitchen Set | Buy This! |
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Baby Kitchen Toys Pretend Playset Cutting Food with Shopping Basket | Buy This! |
- Water bottles. She loves water and we’d always carry a water bottle for her. We would let her hold her bottle to familiarize her hand with the texture and we’d also give her sister the same water bottle. She used to just watch her sister drink by herself. Repeating the process at every opportunity was a strategic approach to encourage her to finally lift the bottle up and pour into her mouth. Her early attempts did not have control over the flow of water and she’d get wet. But daily practice paid off.
- Introducing ice cream treats. Twice a week, we visit the mall and we started introducing ice cream treats to the girls. Eira would enjoy watching her sister eat while just holding her cone of ice cream until it melts in her hand. We had to deal with sticky hands every time and of course, cries… perhaps, out of frustration. We had to buy another round, on a cup this time and assist her feeding. But we continued the process and repeated week after week; then month after month went by without attempts to initiate eating by herself. When she was finally ready, it was a celebrated moment of total joy and we captured all her giggles. It was a glorious moment.
- Encouraging play during mealtime with rice. During mealtimes, she is allowed to play with her rice. It’s a great way encouraging her to touch and feel the texture of the food. Small, fun activities like this all led to the moment that made her feel ready to eat by herself.
- Milk + bite size bread squares. Eating ice cream by herself was a huge step. We followed that up by encouraging play during mealtime and then, leaving breakfast meals on her table daily. We usually prepare milk + bite size bread squares and leave her to eat by herself. We use Gardenia bread products because it comes in different flavors and colors.
- Visual Cues. After our December 2017 visit with Eira's SPED teacher, Teacher Goya, we started introducing visual cues. Visual cues is the retro approach to help kids (especially those with developmental delays) identify words and images to communicate easier, especially if you are caring for non verbal kid like Eira. Let's talk more about this at greater lengths in the next blogs.
Self help Milestones
The journey that leads us to achieve every milestone is what we must embrace. It's a wonderful adventure, even for parents raising regular kids. The key is to keep going, without deadlines.By far, we've achieved some monumental milestones using play, mimic, and repeating the process—
- Eating breakfast by herself
- Eating snacks by herself
- Eating rice meals using spoon
- Eating ice cream by herself
- Drinking from water bottle
- Drinking milk from glass
- Brushing teeth - work in progress
- Combing hair - work in progress
- Dressing up - work in progress
- Undressing - work in progress
Final Thoughts
Learning happens one step at a time. There is no contest; parents do not have to rush kids to process learning on a deadline. Raising a child with special needs is a journey worth embracing. While milestones are exciting achievements, what really matters are moments that lead us to every milestone. Enjoy that. It’s priceless. In the end, life is not about milestones… it’s about moments we spend with our kids and family.
How do you encourage your kids to eat by themselves? We'd love to learn from your stories... you can leave a comment below.
If you have questions related to teaching self help skills at home, just keep scrolling until you find the 'Ask A Question' box and send us your quick questions. We will publish the answers coming from professionals in our network.
How do you encourage your kids to eat by themselves? We'd love to learn from your stories... you can leave a comment below.
If you have questions related to teaching self help skills at home, just keep scrolling until you find the 'Ask A Question' box and send us your quick questions. We will publish the answers coming from professionals in our network.
